WTF was I thinking, “Sure everyone lets go back to Panda Express, there’s no way they could still be running out of food at lunchtime”

OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS….

no food, nothing, some shitty 3 hour old crap that never sells and maybe a pathic springroll.

It’s 12:30pm at a major intersection and you have no food, I hate you, really Panda Express I fucking hate you.  I’m hungry and so is the 6 people behind me.  Screw this I start a scene.

“This is why I hate coming here, there’s never any food and they are never prepaired” (This draws looks from the Mexicans cooking my Chinese food) I continue “I’m going to Chiplotes, whoever heard of a chinese place that out of Fried Rice for crying out loud.”

At this point they start to panic, I never cause a scene and I’ve never been one on confrontation but I see myself losing $9 to a place I should of known better then to come back to!

I’ve officially lost my mind, I take out my cell phone and start taking their pictures in a fit of journalistic rage.

Dear Panda Express,

I’m not a fucking Panda, I don’t eat bamboo, FEED ME

Signed -Jones

Panda Express Sucks PART 1

Screw GM, Ford, Chrysler, and the rest of them. Why in the hell should the government give tax payers money to an industry that has not been able to compete in three decades?

Don’t give me the line about “well, what are those poor workers going to do?”. This isn’t communist fucking China people! Who cares what they do. That’s capitalism. Do you really think these people are just going to sit back and watch their families starve to death? Perhaps - just perhaps - they may come up with a new way to make a living in their home towns or elsewhere and ingenuity will prevail (as it always does).

I am so freaking tired of all of this socialistic crap going on in this country. I’ve had businesses fail in the past. Did Pickles get a bailout? Fuck No! Pickles got a tax lien from the Florida Department of Revenue.

Pickles votes no on anymore bailouts…

GM = Gross Mismanagement
FORD = Fix Outdated Research & Development
Chrysler = Can’t Help Resisting Your Shitty Lineup Each Release

Would you pay $18,995 for this pile of canine excrement?

Not mine, but funny…

Rock, Paper, Scissors
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there’s no fucking way Paper could beat Rock. Apparently, Paper is supposed to magically “wrap around” Rock, leaving it immobile. Why the hell can’t Paper do this to Scissors?

For that matter, never mind Scissors, why can’t Paper do this to people? Why aren’t sheets of college-ruled notebook paper constantly smothering students as they attempt to take notes in class? I’ll tell you why: because Paper can’t beat anybody. A rock would tear that shit up in about a minute.

Whenever I play Rock/Paper/Scissors, I always choose Rock. When somebody claims to have beaten me with their Paper, I punch them in the face with my already-clenched fist. I’ll say, “Oh, shit, man, I’m sorry, I thought Paper would protect you - you fucking asshole!!!

Just a quick Social Engineering FYI, if you ever find yourself trying to install Windows XP and don’t have a key the folks over at Amscot will be more then happy to provide you one.

While I was there the other day cashing a stack of checks because I’m a baller I noticed they had all their XP stickers on the back on their monitors so I snapped a pic and thought I’d share.  So feel free to get your fill of free keys.

Ever doubt the ingenuity of Americans? This country will be just fine in the long run!

Read this gem of a story from our boys down-under…

That’s Nasty Mate!


The man told his mother: “I can’t get no women here.”

The son then pulled the mother’s “knickers down with one hand”, took a condom out of his wallet and had sex with her on the futon where she was lying. He had sex with her again later, also while wearing a condom.







WTF is wrong with Australians?

• Ya Man - Who we fighting again?
  
• You want some smoke from my rocket bong?
  
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new Angry Video Game Nerd review is out. This time the Nerd takes a look at Hotel Mario on the Phillips CD-I.

Check it out

So apparently another person, this time a child, was bitten by a Panda Bear in China.

“The panda was right there and a couple of girls started petting it, and my daughter petted it and it licked her hand, which she thought was cute, and then it bit it, and didn’t let go,” Mr Treu told AAP.

What’s next there Parents of The Year? Shark petting off the Great Barrier Reef?

For the last time - the operative word for these things is “BEAR!!!!!”