Jones and Pickles

“he was so much cooler
…when he was on drugs”

so true

JnP Newswire: Friday, February 27, 2009 (Orlando, FL)

Jones and Pickles have been derailed for the past several weeks due to personal circumstances. However, Jones and Pickles never stay down for too long and have a tentative golf outing planned for sometime soon which should provide enough liquid encouragement to get the creative juices flowing again. Hang in there and we’ll make you laugh again sometime soon.

Women - they just may be the root of all that is evil…

Stay tuned…

and they say that government is getting too big…

THESE ARE NECESSARY SERVICES PEOPLE! To protect your freedoms…ssshhhhhhhhh….to protect your freedoms…ssssshhhhhh…..it’ll all be ok when they make the evil doers go away….

NY Post

A sanitation department in England has handed out computers to its trashmen to collect intricate data on what people are throwing out and what they are recycling.

Holy shit I am so moving to an abandoned oil platform in the ocean and fishing for a living…

Holy shit this guy has some balls…

You know the drill…

• That duck was right! This does suck…
  
• This spa blows!
  
•  
  
•  

When Jones was a kid and we went to Wal-Mart, I would steal coffee beans from the coffee aisle and put them in my pocket, then when I would walk around the store with my mom, I would plant the beans behind cereal boxes and in the fridges and whatnot pretending they were miniature bombs, and when we went out to the car and drove away, I would look in the rearview mirror at Wal-Mart and imagine I pressed an invisible “Detonator” and Wal-Mart would explode.

so….

Huge gamma-ray blast spotted 12.2 billon light-years from earth

WASHINGTON (AFP) – The US space agency’s Fermi telescope has detected a massive explosion in space which scientists say is the biggest gamma-ray burst ever detected, a report published Thursday in Science Express said.

The spectacular blast, which occurred in September in the Carina constellation, produced energies ranging from 3,000 to more than five billion times that of visible light, astrophysicists said.

“If you think about it in terms of energy, X-rays are more energetic because they penetrate matter. These things don’t stop for anything — they just bore through and that’s why we can see them from enormous distances,” Reddy said.

A team led by Jochen Greiner of Germany’s Max Planck Institute for Extraterrestrial Physics determined that the huge gamma-ray burst occurred 12.2 billion light years away.

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BLAH BLAH BLAH

Here’s the problem…

Speed of light is fucking fast, you figure a partical of light traveling between New York and LA can shoot back and forth between the two cities around 72 times in one second… just to give you an idea how fast it is.

now

Light from the Sun takes 8 minutes to reach us here at Earth, so if the sun just completely died, we’d all have 8 minutes to live it up and poof.

so

This event happened over 12 BILLION light years away, we’re just seeing it now so thats….. wait for it…. 12 Billion years ago this happened.

introduce hard science

The Earth is scientically proven to be though age dating just under 5 billion years old (4.54 to be exact) even though ‘believers’ say 6,000 years old, which I’m sorry is beyond false, let’s say either is the case though for the sake of discussion.

conclusion

The blazingly apparent fact of this event happened LOOOONG before the earth was ever around from either the science or biblical point of view and the est. 7 billion year difference is a hell of a lot longer then a heavens and earth 7 days.

don’t get me started on dinosaurs

New York Post: 18-Feb-09

At least they have a sense of humor.

An Australian town where 30 sex toys were found lying in front of a house has renamed the street “Dildo Boulevard.”

“It’s a real mystery. We have no idea where they came from,” said resident Laurelle Bates. “They look used.”

Within hours, many had disappeared. “Some of the bigger ones are gone,” she noted casually.

3:22pm UK, Thursday February 05, 2009

An elderly woman in South Korea has failed her driving test a staggering 771 times, according to police. But the 68 year old has apparently told the local media she has no intention of giving up.

The woman, who lives in the southwestern city of Jeonju, has taken the test almost every working day since 2005. She failed it again this week, setting a new record for the country. The Korea Times said the woman, identified only by her last name Cha, plans to make another attempt.

Her problem is that she cannot pass the written section of the test. The pass mark is 60 out of 100 but she only averages 30-50. Cha sells food and household items at apartment complexes, carrying the items in a handcart. She says getting a driviing licence would enable her to buy a car and expand the business. Police estimate she has spent almost £2,500 taking the written tests in addition to other expenses.

“I feel sorry every time I see Cha fail,” one officer said. “If she ever passes, I’ll make a commemorative tablet and give it to her.”