Jones and Pickles

How ya like me now, fools?

So Jones and Mr. Pickles are at a party the other day when one of our friends mentions this site. Another friends says, “I don’t see what’s so funny about it”. We’ll call this friend, “Goldfinger” unless Jones can come up with a better name for him. At first, I thought, fuck you dude! But then I remembered the source…

Note that our good friend is not only bare-assed naked, but he is attempting to order take out at 4am on what he thinks is a phone, but is merely a shoe sole insert.

Is that the kind of funny you were looking for?

Jonesy - set our boy up with a login account and let’s re-light this rocket…

P-

…is when you are already at work. Friendly advice: a couple of wine glasses full of Jaeger at the annual company party is rarely a good idea.

So Mr. Pickles and his lady have been frequenting the local restaurants and bars in Sanford, FL for about a year now. It seems (at least to us) that everytime we pass by what we now know to be “Jason’s Martini Bar” it has been closed.

I say, it seems, because for months this place had no signage of any kind so it was sort of one of those places that “you just have to get in to”. Well, my friends, tonight was the night!

We happened to visit one of our favorite restaurants this evening (Willow Tree Cafe - which by the way was a total fail as well due to their lack of planning for the amount of business that they had tonight however I will give them a pass because Theo and the crew are usually very good at making us feel like VIP’s so a one-time bad experience is acceptable). Afterwards, we walked the Downtown Sanford area.

Jason’s Martini Bar had a light on and a door man. Score! (or so we thought). $5.00 cover for my male ass. No problem - that place must be cool as shit inside…

Not so much…

Try South Beach…(without the South Beach)

PS - Blonde Bartender - you are not nearly hot enough to act that way…EVER!!!

PPS - You could not make a “dirty martini” to save your fucking life. That shit sucked worse than…I have nothing…I LITERALLY HAVE NOTHING IN MY MIND THAT I COULD POSSIBLY THINK OF THAT SUCKED WORSE THAN THAT SHITTY DRINK YOU CHARGED ME TEN FUCKING DOLLARS FOR!!!!!!

Just saying - if you are calling your bar “BLAH BLAH MARTINI BLAH BLAH” you may want to hire someone who knows how to make a fucking martini that is not on your list…

Peace and chicken grease asswipes…

So those who know Mr. Pickles, know that he has been dealing with a divorce situation for the past several months. Mr. Jones, always the one to lend a helping hand to a friend in need, decided to provide Mr. Pickles with a friendly “Hey Buddy - I know you’re down and out lately, but I just wanted to send over this digital kick-in-the-balls because you’re fucking special man!”

This lovely photo shows the ex’s new man going to town on Mr. Pickle’s grill at Mr. Pickle’s lakeside house. That guy in the background doing what appears to be setup work is Mr. Pickles, cleverly Photoshop’d into the scene.

As I’ve said before, every man needs a buddy who is willing to put a 10-year friendship on the line for a good laugh. He’s a hell of a guy that Jones…hell of a guy!

Even if you could do this without the help of a trampoline, you would still only get 87 people at your games…get over it and move on already.